Sup, Bro?

When you finally see someone you haven’t seen for over a year, how does it feel?

Last week, I saw my little brother. He’s real tall now.

That kid used to copy and follow me around, annoy me to no end, run around in circles hyperactively – that kid who I loved to make fun of but hated when he made fun of me. He’s so different now in many ways. However, he hasn’t lost his knack for pissing me off.

We talked about the future, about the past year and then some. What have you been doing with your life? What will you do when you graduate?

I don’t know why, but within the first few moments of conversation between us, I suddenly felt a heavy sadness.

When we were younger, we spoke about the hardships of being a teenager, commiserating over schoolwork and the rules of our parents, the joys of under-age drinking and that first hit, hookups and mishaps, embarrassment, heartbreaks and the awkwardness of high school hallways.

Now, it’s all…

Manipulative girls / you deserve better, post graduation, why you don’t talk to me as much? Remember when…

Come to Asia – you should travel, grow up, live a little, try this, don’t say shit like that, you’re so immature, you’re a bitch, shut up.

Wanna get a drink? Stop interrupting me! Aren’t our parents annoying? I miss you.

They mean well. You think you know everything, you’re so young, wait till you graduate, let me finish talking, are you ready for the real world…

Come home, I don’t want to, China is sweet! When are you coming home again? I miss our dog.

I love you. I love you too, Merry Christmas, hope I didn’t piss you off. You didn’t.

What we want in our lives have changed; the way we think is incomparable. I don’t understand him and he feels the same about me. I can’t stand his ignorance and the way he interprets things; our opinions diverge so definitively. He doesn’t understand why I wanted to leave in the first place, (because “America is the best”), all of our solidly rooted friendships are there, our family life is as well. We argue ourselves apart.

And here I am, missing him. Why am I here again? If I went home, we’d still feel distant. Do the miles really make a difference?

All ways the same. All ways different.

***

“I miss you.”

“See you soon…”

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